A funny thing happened to me on my way to crossing the Swiss border into France.
We approached the control point with Pink’s “So What I am a Rock Star” blaring. I was switching back and forth between chatting with my teenager and singing at the top of my lungs.
So what if it was near 1 o’clock in the morning?
We’d just finished the ninth performance of our comedy musical, Jack & the Beanstalk, and the public reviews had been enthralling!
I was riding high on fatigue and adrenalin.
“Er, looks like they’re doing alcotests.”
“Ooooooooooooh! Great! I’ve never done one of those before!”
The expression on my son’s face was/and still is…LOL…indescribable!
“MoOOOOOOMMMM! Turn the music down!”
“Why? I like this song!”
“Did you drink anything tonite?”
“And you’re HAPPY about taking this test?”
“They’re not going to believe it when they see you!”
“Not my problem! Don’t care! Don’t need no drugs, no alcohol to be me…It’s all 100% natural! Tralala lala…”
“You’re really nuts, mom!”
My son watched with bemused anticipation.
There were at least five customs officers. The first two each had fistfuls of the miniature alcotests. They waved me to continue. The next three had flashlights. They seemed poised to search every nook and cranny of the cars they stopped.
And yet, as I approached, their demeanor changed. There was just the slightest of eye exchanges and then the Clint Eastern-go-ahead-make-my-day type waved me onwards.
As we continued on, I picked up speed then faked a wail.
“Oooooooooooooooh, it’s not fair! It’s just not fair! I was so looking forward to them making MY night!”
“Mom, you know you’re crazy right?”
We chuckled together in total conspiration ;-D